paul from cleveland

Joined

• started 48 topics
• posted 645 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by paul from cleveland

• 
  60

  I miss Mouthy.

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. jw
  2. friends
  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  Mouthy! Great to see you!
• 
  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  Goldensky, you seem a lot like me (in my younger days, ha ha)
• 
  22

  Best Beach Vacations

  by beksbks in

  1. social
  2. physical

  where?

  why?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  

  Home
• 
  22

  Best Beach Vacations

  by beksbks in

  1. social
  2. physical

  where?

  why?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  My favorite beach is here by my home on the shores of Lake Erie. Not because there is anything exceptional about it. It's just that it's mine. My favorite thing to do is watch the sun setting over the lake. The golden sky and glimmering water fill me with awe. I will always love it.
• 
  22

  A JW Corpse 'Speaks'

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a jw corpse 'speaks'.

  http://alwaysonasaturday.blogspot.com/2009/08/jw-meets-undignified-end.html.

  bangalore.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  There are no words to describe what I felt as I read that.
• 
  60

  I miss Mouthy.

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. jw
  2. friends
  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland
• 
  97

  What happens when you die?

  by AGuest in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to the household of god, israel, and those who go with... may you have peace!.

  a week or so ago i ran across a post asking what happens when we die.

  i had meant to respond then, but got distracted and then could not find the post again.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  Who knows?
• 
  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  oops, I forgot to the answer the question: No, I wouldn't be shattered. I'd welcome it. For the reason stated above.
• 
  68

  Would you be shattered if your mate had sex with someone else? Why?

  by goldensky in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  please don't say, "yes, for obvious reasons".. it's not obvious to me..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  I want to post again on this thread because it strikes at the heart of an issue I'm going through now.

  I feel guilt, now, for what I've done in the past. I don't know if I'd call it cheating but I do know I've hurt a lot of people.

  In a nutshell, I fell deeply in love with more than one person at the same time. Three to be exact.

  I didn't feel that I loved one over the other, I loved each with all my heart. I've always felt that love is infinite so there is not a limited quantity that has to be doled out in certain proportions. I gave my whole heart to all three.

  They, of course, didn't feel that way. Each wanted an exclusive relationship but I just couldn't pick one to the exclusion of the others. I could never leave any of them.

  Having one relationship is a lot of work. Having three was more than I could handle. I encouraged each one to form other relationships because that would remove some of the burden from me of caring for the emotional and sexual needs of three people. None of them wanted to do that, however, and became more and more jealous of each other as time went on. True to my Witness upbringing, I told them that their love for me must be lacking because "Love is not jealous". I told them if they truly loved me they wouldn't feel that way.

  This turned out to be the biggest regret of my life. Doubting their love. I feel unimaginable guilt over this. I know now that each one truly does love me with all their heart also. Each one stayed with me and put up with this untenable situation. I reserve the greatest regret, however, for my first partner. The other two knew what they were getting into with me. The first one had to learn the hard way.

  Eventually, number 2 and 3 left and found other relationships. They are happily involved with other people yet we remain very close to this day. Maybe even closer. My first partner, however, could never and can never get over the experience. We're still together, and I've been forgiven, but I can not forgive myself. As time goes on my guilt grows ever greater. I'm to the point now that I want to break up because I can't live with myself. I won't be the one to choose to leave, however, because that would make me feel even worse. Guilt is a horrible thing.

  Anyway, that's where I am now. Wishing I could undo the past. Swimming in a sea of regret.

  I hope this isn't too much information and I hope you don't think less of my now. I just felt if I couldn't open up here, what's the point?

  Thanks for reading.
• 
  42

  How many here desire 'Reality' over the fantasy of eternal life?

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  me.. wasting time believing in such silliness is like hoping one day to turn into mickey mouse.

  why not accept life now, while you have it, and understand that like all others before you, you are going to die too.

  you won't wake from that.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  paul from cleveland

  okay